


Window of the Soul

by JoansGlove



Category: Wentworth (TV)
Genre: F/F, Psychological Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-14
Updated: 2016-04-24
Packaged: 2018-06-02 04:53:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6551839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JoansGlove/pseuds/JoansGlove
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The sequel to Fear and Loathing in Wentworth - Joan exacts her revenge on Jodie</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> As always, with thanks to Duchess for her glamorous assistance

Ever since she’d been moved up a grade the boy in her class had bullied Joan. He called her a Queer and a freak; he made her life miserable but she kept the pain locked away. She knew that if she told her dad then he’d tell her it was because she didn’t make an effort to be like the other children and that she should try to fit in more.  
She’d been taking a short-cut back home from the library when she’d spied her father talking to someone in the loading bay of the butcher shop. The smell of dead flesh hung heavy in the air as she’d carefully made her way closer. Her dad was threatening her tormentor. The Major gripped the boy’s head tightly with his left hand, his gloved thumb pressing deep into the boy’s right eye socket.  
“…if you even look at her again I will blind you. If one of your friends tries to hurt her I will blind you and then, I will blind them. Believe me when I say that I am a man of my word. Do we have an understanding?”  
The boy must have said yes because her dad threw him to one side and set off towards the main drag, stripping off his brown leather gloves as he went.  
She remembered how she’d thought to herself that this was proof that her dad did love her, that he could see her pain and was prepared to stop it for her.

The man who’d attacked her in the alley….all of her wits and training had deserted her but somehow she’d escaped his grip, kicking out at him to get away. She remembered coming to her senses and being horrified at the amount of blood, she could still smell it now. The animal lay on the ground, his right eye, cheek and temple obliterated by a multitude of half-moon depressions. Joan inspected her boot heel – yes, it matched the grisly patterns. Later, Maggie had assured Joan that she’d done the right thing, self-defence was no crime and the world wouldn’t miss scum like that.

“You piece of shit, Bryant!” Joan lashed out at the kneeling woman with her baton. “I didn’t ‘prey’ on her! It was mutual; …be different if I were a man though, wouldn’t it, eh? Your piece of shit code,” she spat into the upturned face, “it’s OK to fuck a male officer but not a female one. Take them for what you can but don’t fall in love with them…”  
“Male officers don’t get to watch us in the showers.” Bryant had eyed her defiantly, blood coating her chin.  
“Really, Bryant, and what do you think you’ve got that could entice me?”  
“You’re a lezzo, you don’t need a reason to perv on us! And if you don’t want the Governor to know you’ll bring the gear in. An official complaint won’t look good on your record….”  
She’d stabbed Bryant in the eye then, the first two fingers of her right hand jabbing deeply into the slippery orb. She did it again, securing the filthy animal’s greasy hair in her iron grip as the baton dangled from her wrist.  
“I will not capitulate to scum like you” she hissed. “You’re going to learn the error of your ways.” Her index finger wormed its way into the outer corner of Bryant’s eye, pushing and seeking as it made its own room in the tight socket.  
“Sick dyke! No wonder Jianna was scared of you!” Bryant croaked.  
“She wasn’t scared of me! How dare you say that?” Joan smashed Bryant’s head into the wall. “She loved me!”  
Joan’s breathing became laboured as she remembered the pain of uncertainty the slut’s words had caused.  
“Huh!” Snorted Bryant derisively. “She was terrifie……” Joan’s foot cut her words short.  
“You. Lying. Scum!” The metal segs in her heels ripped skin and smashed teeth as she stamped on the human stain. She remembered hearing bones crunch and crack under the force of the kicking; Bryant’s body had soaked up her rage until she’d been forced to stagger back and regroup.  
“Damn you, Bryant!” She’d growled breathlessly at the whimpering, inert animal. “You made me lose my temper! If I ever hear that you have told anyone about any of this this I will cut out your cunt, reach up into the hole and crush your heart with my bare hand whilst you watch.”


	2. Friday 10th 19:00hrs

“How could you lie like that Jodie? I didn’t hurt you. You wanted me to say those things, to do those things to you.” Leaning forward in her chair Joan reached across the divide and took Spiteri’s hands in her own, her large wrists resting on the girl’s bony knees as they hung over the side of the bed.   
Jodie mutely shook her head and refused to look at Joan.  
“You must have done, Jodie. Otherwise you’d have said yes to me straight away but you didn’t did you? No, you let me do those things to you every night. EVERY night. You let me!” She shook Spiteri’s hands gently to reinforce her statement.  
“Nooo..” Jodie's voice was thickened by the anti-psychotics the visiting psychiatrist had prescribed. Joan knew from experience that they would render Spiteri susceptible to suggestion.  
“You let me do more and more things to you didn’t you, Jodie? Each night you stretched it out, forcing me to offer a little more, something new and different, hmmm? You played the game, don’t try and deny it, you knew what you were doing …. what I was doing, and you let it progress until you were satisfied, holding out until you got what you wanted, regardless of how it affected me. Some people would say that’s sick, Spiteri, but what’s sicker is that you weakened under Smith’s pressure and lied about us.” 

Joan sat back in her chair, Spiteri’s hands sliding from her loose grasp as she settled herself into the functional furniture. She felt a warm anticipatory glow.  
“I wonder; did you weaken because there wasn’t pleasure enough in the misery she caused you? Because you needed more than she could offer? Was it because you knew that I wouldn’t be able to let this slide? That I would be forced to show you the error in your choice of aligning with Smith?” She crossed her long legs and stroked Jodie's calf with the toe of her elegant court shoe. “Yes, I think it was.”  
Jodie jerked away at the alien touch and lifted her anguished face to Ferguson. “I never wanted it! You know I didn’t! That thing you wanted me to do…. I NEVER wanted to do it! You made me!”  
“How so?” Joan tilted her head, a quizzical look in her black eyes.  
“How?? You hurt me! You made me hurt myself! You… you made me…..”  
“Did I, Jodie?” She asked gently. “If I remember correctly, and I do, it wasn’t until you were snuggled in my arms; safe, warm, happy, that you chose to finally accede to my suggestion.” Her voice softened even more. “I didn’t force you; you did it of your own free will. If I had truly made you hurt Smith then you would have agreed to do it within a few days of my initial visit, possibly within a few minutes, but you didn’t. Admit it, you purposely held out, made me touch you in all of those different and unnatural ways until you found your release. Until I held you close enough to give you the comfort you so badly craved.” Spiteri had shown the classical response to torture and mercy. Her last two nights in the slot involved little more than soft words and cuddling; she had smiled as Joan fed her rich chocolate truffles and sleepily agreed to stab Smith whilst Joan nuzzled at her earlobe. 

“But you did! You did! You knew that I couldn’t and you forced me.” Tears shone in her dark eyes. The woman was mad!  
Joan feigned surprise. “I didn’t force you, Jodie, have you forgotten already? We had an agreement. All that fussing and fighting didn’t fool me even a little bit. I think you’d do anything to be touched by a powerful woman wouldn’t you? That’s why you let me go so far, all the time knowing that you were going to agree in the end.” Joan took a deep breath and let it out slowly as she recalled the potent arousal she had felt imposing her will on the stubborn girl. “And then, when you’d had enough you left me. But you missed it didn’t you? And you realised that you couldn’t get it elsewhere.”   
Joan reached forward again and hooked her middle finger under Jodie's, gently stroking its surface with her thick forefinger. She stretched out her other hand and brushed tears from Spiteri’s cheek with her thumb. She was enjoying this game.  
“Doyle didn’t want you back did she, hmmm? And Smith? Well she was never going to thrill you like you wanted – it’s not her thing; so you agreed to go along with their lies knowing that I’d have to turn my attention to you once more. Even though you treated me so badly, jeopardised my entire career for your own perverted end. You knew that I would come back to you. And so, as risky as it is, here I am.” Joan moved over to sit beside Spiteri, drawing one leg beneath her so she could face the pitiful creature and still keep an eye on the Nurses’ station.  
“I told them the truth. You know I did.”   
“You lied, Jodie. You polluted yourself. Didn’t you feel your soul lighten when you stabbed Smith? All the bad feeling just disappear as you hit your target? And then with one nasty untruth the disfiguring stain came flooding back. And you know it did, you felt it flow over you. I saw it settle on you like a shade. You know what happens to tell-tales.” 

“I felt awful! You made me hurt Bea!” she wailed “I never wanted anything from you. Why would I? Stop fucking with my head!” Her eyes pleaded with Joan.  
“I simply cannot believe that you persist with this unfounded loyalty to Smith!” Exasperated, Joan let go of Spiteri’s hand and grasped her upper arms, twisting her round until she could look squarely into her miserable face. “Smith has ruined you once more! She extended the olive branch, let you think that you were worth peoples’ time and effort, and then she dropped you in the shit. Again! All that duplicity and for what? She knew she couldn’t win so she left you to perpetuate the falsehood knowing full well that you would lose face in front of everyone. She left you to earn more time for falsely accusing the Governor of heinous yet patently unbelievable acts of cruelty; because it’s not cruel to give succour to the needy is it?” Her tone became coercive, wheedling. “It’s merciful, almost a duty. Let me help you erase the stain, Jodie; I want to help you see the truth of the matter,” Joan took Spiteri’s hands in hers once more, “only then will you be able to find the courage to atone for your betrayal. But until you take control of your destiny you are nothing to anyone.”   
Joan’s eyes glittered. She had special plans for Spiteri; she couldn’t risk a direct physical assault and she definitely could not afford to be the one to ‘discover’ a mutilated prisoner. Damaging questions would be asked, not least by Vera; Joan knew Vera smelled something fishy over Smith’s alleged abduction. Best not to arouse her suspicious little mind any further. 

“How could I betray you?” Jodie asked uncertainly. “You were wrong to hurt me like that.”  
“No, it was right; it was necessary. Everything about you told me that you wanted it, Jodie. I could see that you didn’t know it, but it was there. Sometimes we just have to be shown what we’ve been missing for it to register as a need. I saw how much you needed it. And I knew that you needed it so badly by the ways in which you made me act, Jodie. By the time I carried you back to the slot you were sleeping like a baby, is that the behaviour of a woman scared for her own safety? Is it? I don’t think it is.”  
“It was the drugs! Of course I fell asleep! It was the middle of the night!”  
“Drugs? In prison? And just where do you think someone as upstanding as the Governor of Wentworth Correctional Facility would be able to buy drugs in the first place, hmmm? Do you think I make a habit of fraternising with drug dealers? Oh no, Jodie; you fell asleep in my arms, safe and sound in the knowledge that you had got what you wanted once again.” Joan’s hands moved up Jodie's forearms and gently chafed the raw, chilly skin.   
“If you persist in denying that you wanted revenge on Smith, that she used you to further her own position then you truly will go insane. They’ll lock you away in an institution and there’s nothing I can do to stop them. I’m not lying to you, Jodie. I’d never hide the truth. But you know, whilst the doctors are prodding around inside your mind to get you to face those issues they may very well stumble upon your secret sexual desires. Do you want a bunch of clinicians discussing your unusual proclivities? Asking you some very personal questions that they have no right to know the answers to? Do you want to tell them just what level of degradation you are only too willing to demand in order to get your kicks? Or will you lie to them as well?”   
Jodie's chin sank into her chest and she shook her head against Ferguson’s persuasive tone and the creeping belief that perhaps she was right. She must be worthless if she’d been prepared to let Bea get away with framing her and it was true, she had felt better after shanking Bea; she had never asked for the pain and humiliation but she had let it go on for days instead of agreeing immediately and try as she might, she couldn’t deny that she had looked forward to Ferguson holding her.

Joan twisted the metaphorical knife. “What are you going to tell the doctors when they start to pry, hmmm? That you like older women in a position of power? That you preferred my hands on you to those of Smith because you enjoyed the sexual element? That it was I who wanted Smith injured when it was you that she had wronged, not me? Will you explain to them how much you craved my embrace, how you willingly held me during the period of alleged abuse? How many orgasms you achieved? I hope you tell them that you turned on the one person who tried to help you throughout your time in the slot only because of the very real possibility of starvation at the hands of a megalomaniac and not because you were ashamed to face up to your true nature, because you think that ‘good people’ don’t have tastes peculiar to the norm….?”   
Joan reached out again and clasped Spiteri’s chilly hands in her own warm ones and angled her head to peer into Jodie's clouded eyes.  
“They’ll ask you what happened to you as a child to make you want those things from me, not understanding that it is nature, not nurture that brought you to this point, that I was merely a catalyst for what has always been there and not the perpetrator of cruel and unnatural acts as you portrayed me to be in front of Mr Channing. Will you be able to tell them, tell anybody in fact, that you prefer to remain a nobody, a never-will-be, unworthy of anybody’s love or concern rather than stepping up and owning yourself?” 

Joan stood up and softly caressed Spiteri’s damp cheek. “Think about what I have said tonight, Jodie. Think about everything that Smith did to you; think about your need for my touch and why you can’t admit the truth to yourself. Think about how sorry you are that you betrayed me to those small minded insects and then decide how you can make it right.” She left the dejected woman staring wordlessly after her as she stepped lightly out onto the corridor, and nodding to one of the temporary agency nurses she locked the door and made a beeline for the canister of hand sanitising gel by the security gate. Next time she would wear gloves.


	3. Sunday 12th 03:00hrs

"Sleep, Jodie.” Joan bent over the unconscious form. “Remain deep asleep. You are sleeping deeply but you can still hear me. You will not wake up, but you will listen to what I tell you. You are comfortable. You are safe.” She stroked the pale cheek. “My voice does not bother or disturb you, you welcome it. You are going deeper asleep, deeper all the time. But you keep hearing me. You will always hear me.” Joan kept her voice low and steady. “You can understand everything I tell you, but you are going more deeply asleep all the time. You will not wake up until I tell you. Remain deep asleep, my dear. You hear everything I say.” Releasing Jodie's arm from the confines of her blankets Joan settled on the side of the hospital bed. “You will now raise your hand to indicate to me that you can hear me.” After a long moment she saw Spiteri's fingers twitch and her hand lifted from the drab linen, coming to rest against Joan’s elbow. “You are now raising your hand, but you will remain deep asleep.”

Relief flooded through Joan. She’d been fully prepared to make use of the tame chemist that Jesper knew, but drug-induced suggestion was tricky. Too much and the subject could die, too little and they could scream the place down; most drugs left detectable traces in blood or urine. All left traces in the hair no matter how quickly they metabolised. She recalled her father’s boastful tales of how he had broken some of the hardest men in the Soviet Union before he defected, and of the results Dr Jonathan Edwards had with hypnosis induced behaviour modification back in the eighties; she’d followed his work with interest and had moderate success with her few attempts at sleeping trances, all conducted for her own entertainment – to incite a fight or spread a rumour, say - but this time was different. This time she planned to ruin Spiteri; Spiteri was dangerous to her career. She needed to be punished.

“Tonight I will tell you how it is. I won’t fill your head with nonsense because you deserve the truth. But don’t try to tell anyone what I’m about to say, they’ll just think that you are delusional. Everything I did, I did because you wanted me to. You can’t deny that you didn’t push me into it, Jodie. Sooner or later we all discover our true nature but not all of us choose to accept it. I don’t blame you for having needs that you can’t recognise. It’s not your fault that nobody ever taught you that it’s not wrong to be different, to want things that others refuse to understand.”

“You think that you feel guilty for shivving Bea Smith but your guilt is misplaced. It’s actually relief that you are experiencing, emancipation from the anger and mistrust she caused you - but for some reason you seem to think that you should be punished. Smith never cared what happened to you. Not then. Not now. And Doyle’s shown that she doesn’t want you cluttering up her life. That extra seven years you’ll get doesn’t worry her; no, it’s your problem now. You owe them nothing. But you owe me. And you owe yourself.”

“Remain deep asleep, Jodie. Move your thumb so I know that you understand.” She watched carefully for Spiteri’s response. Ah, there it was! Joan smiled to herself, it was all too easy. 

“But you ARE guilty, Jodie, guilty of a much deeper hurt. You know that don’t you? Don’t you feel shame and self-reproach for using me to realise your base desires? Regret for throwing me to the wolves, knowing that they would be only too eager to believe your salacious little piece of fiction? Yes, you feel guilt for throwing me over in the foolish hope of rekindling the life you once had. But you know that could never happen…not really, not now. And so you try to seduce me again, hoping that I’ll forgive you, absolve you of your sins; but I can’t, Jodie, not yet. That guilt is a stain that won’t fade until you start looking at the truth of who you are without the blinkers of society’s expectations. And that stain is a sign of your worthlessness; it marks you out as a big fat zero in this world, as nothing. I can only help you if you choose to prove that you are strong; deserving of my time.” Joan almost believed herself! 

Her ire was such that she wanted Spiteri to not only know that she was guilty of betrayal but she needed her to have a physical reminder, something that would grind her spirit, whatever was left of it, down to nothing.  
“Every time you are alone or when none of the staff members are watching you your guilt will creep up and grip your heart. You will feel your betrayal cutting into you like a knife, Jodie. But this pain won’t give you any pleasure; you will feel it so keenly that you’ll wish for death to come and take you away but even that won’t end it, Jodie; it will follow you across any plane, it will paralyse you. You won’t think of anything but the pain in your chest and the pain you caused me. When all I wanted to do was help you even the score with the woman who ruined your life... When all I did was give you what you needed.” Joan smiled at the sheer wickedness of it all, sometimes she startled herself with the level of maliciousness her mind could navigate to.  
“Only I can help you shed your guilt and see the truth but you must have courage to make it happen. Let me give you the tools to become a stronger person. Trust that I will do all that I can to see that you get what you deserve. Now, when I place your hand back on the bed you will begin to awaken. Each breath will bring you closer to the surface until on the tenth you will open your eyes.”

Joan watched expectantly as Spiteri’s lids fluttered open. “How are you feeling?” She reached out and stroked the pale cheek noting with satisfaction the lack of recoil.  
“Miss Ferguson?”  
“Hey, how’s my good girl doing? Is your head feeling clearer now?”  
“I, I don’t know. I had such a strange dream. An angel came and showed me my heart. It was black and hard and then she tapped it with her finger and all the black fell off and it was shining white but then she pushed it back into my chest and it burned so bad until she looked at me and smiled.” 

Joan placed her rubber gloved hand over Spiteri’s left breast and smiled sincerely. “It seems fine to me,” sadness suddenly entered her eyes, “if a little heavy. But then, liars’ hearts often are aren’t they?” Her dark eyes searched Jodie's.  
“I’m sorry, Miss Ferguson. I’m so sorry. They made me tell them! They wouldn’t leave me alone – you don’t know what it was like; I thought I was going to die.”  
“And yet you think the things you allowed me to do to you were worse? You thought that my promises to you were hollow?”  
“I don’t know.”  
“And what did you get for your pains, hmmm? A bar of chocolate and some kind words. Not much for betraying the woman who can make or break you is it? The woman who gave you euphoria, comfort and security.”

She checked her watch and pulled the covers off the patient’s thin body. “Open your legs a little for me, Jodie.” Slipping out of her shoes Joan climbed onto the bed and knelt between the obliging parted knees, from her pocket she produced the now familiar vibrator. Jodie's eyes widened and she frantically scanned the darkened windows for signs of life in the empty corridor.  
“Oh come now, Jodie. That’s no way to greet an old friend is it? She leaned forward and reached out to trace Spiteri’s lips with the hard plastic tip.  
“Sit up.” Joan reached round and undid the top most tie of the cotton gown then pulled it down around Spiteri’s arms, exposing her buoyant breasts.  
Joan was mightily pleased with herself when Spiteri gasped and jerked her hips at the first buzzing touch of the lurid pink shaft on her nipple. “Oh, yeah. You just hate it don’t you, hmmm?”  
“Please, Miss Ferguson….”  
“I’m glad to see that you haven’t lost your manners, Jodie. And as you asked so nicely, of course I will oblige.” Joan’s hand dropped between Jodie's legs and burrowed underneath the utilitarian gown.” Hard already. You really are a special girl aren’t you?” She swapped her hands over and held the savagely vibrating toy against Jodie's dry clit whilst she twisted mercilessly on Jodie's stiff brown teat.  
Jodie gripped the sides of the vinyl coated mattress as unrequested gratification shot to her brain. Fuck! Ferguson knew how to use that thing as a weapon of torturous pleasure! She knew that she shouldn’t want it but she did, although she wanted to be held and forgiven more.

Joan circled Spiteri’s rapidly moistening vagina. “Remember those times when you asked me to stop, did you mean any of them? Or were you just trying to convince yourself that you didn’t want something that your friends would disown you for? This is who you are Jodie. If you want to be even vaguely happy in the future you must recognise and accept the fact. One way or another, nature will out.”

“What have you done to me?” Jodie vainly fought the urge to push against the vibrator. She squirmed as Ferguson teased her.  
“I’ve helped you to free yourself from the shackles of society’s expectations. I have shown you which way your path lies but you must have the courage to follow it. Find a way to overcome the ugly guilt that made you hurt me for trying to free you. When you see clearly you’ll understand why you did it and you’ll be able to rest easy. But I’m afraid that until I can be sure that you are strong enough acknowledge and appreciate what I have done for you I cannot give you the pleasure you crave. I’m sorry, Jodie; really I am.”  
Joan eased herself off the bed and sealed the now silent vibrator in a bag along with her soiled gloves. “I suggest that you sleep on the matter, Jodie. I’ll be back in a couple of days to see how you are getting along.”

Jodie grimaced in pain. Alone in the semi darkness she rolled onto her side and curled into the foetal position, folding herself around the searing beat of her heart. Her clit fired out erratic pulses as the hot blood ebbed into surrounding tissue and she mourned the loss of the only person who truly wanted to help her; and she had wanted Miss Ferguson to continue in spite of everything she’d done to her – she flushed with shame - because of everything she’d done to her 


	4. Monday 13th 22:30hrs

Joan was running out of time. In two days Spiteri would have to be discharged from the Psychiatric Ward and moved back into general. If she didn’t do it soon Joan would have precious little chance to bring her plan to fruition and the herd would not see the might of her power. She needed to keep Spiteri isolated from the prison population, let the womens’ bad feeling towards Smith fester a little longer. And Spiteri needed to be kept apart to complete her breakdown. No one would ever believe a word she said; never again could she gain the ear of someone who even vaguely mattered.  
She was already imagining the scene when Smith having, eventually, worked it out would come to her with a bouquet of fruitless allegations and hollow threats.

As soon as Ferguson slipped into her room the crippling pain left her. She felt suddenly breathless, light, almost euphoric but the sensation faded as soon as she saw the Governor’s solemn countenance.  
“They are talking about sending you for shock treatment if you don’t improve soon, Jodie.”   
Jodie began to panic, the numbing effects of her medication doing little to quell her fear as she scrambled out of bed and made for the door. Ferguson’s strong arms encircled her, holding her tight.  
“Shhhh, shh now, it’s going to be alright. Relax.” Joan rested her chin on the dark head. So reminiscent of their nights in the boiler room; she had almost felt tender towards the fractured creature that she had created, proud of her achievement; sure of her goal.  
“I can’t fucking relax! They’re going to shock me!”  
“No, no, no, no…” soothed Joan, “not if you do as I say. I’m going to show you how to put aside your worries and calm yourself. Once you gain a little perspective you’ll be able to start getting better. That’s what you want isn’t it? To get better and get out of here?” She guided Jodie back into bed and propped her against the flat pillows before pulling the covers up her thin legs. “Now I’m going to have you perform a very effective relaxation routine. I promise that you will feel differently afterwards. Will you try it for me?”  
Jodie shrugged. “What have I got to lose?” 

“OK, Jodie, I want you to fix your gaze on the thumb and forefinger of your left hand. Soon I am going to ask you to close your eyes, but I want you to continue to concentrate on your thumb and forefinger. As you concentrate I shall count, and as I count you will become more and more relaxed. As you do so you will feel your thumb and forefinger draw closer and closer together. When they touch you will then know you are in a deep state of relaxation OK?  
“Now, close your eyes and concentrate on your thumb and forefinger. In a moment I shall start to count. As I do so you will feel your thumb and forefinger draw closer and closer together as you become more and more relaxed. When your fingers touch, you will know you are in a deep state of relaxation."   
Joan synchronized her count with Jodie's breathing, prepared to count indefinitely until Spiteri succumbed to her suggestion. Each time she reached 100 Joan began her count again.   
"Continue to concentrate on your thumb and forefinger, Jodie. As I count you will feel your thumb and forefinger draw closer and closer together as you become more and more relaxed. When they touch you will know that you are in a deep state of relaxation.”

How pitiful Spiteri looked thought Joan as she started on the fifth repetition, dejected and forlorn in her dingy hospital gown, her eye sockets looked bruised in the subdued night-time lighting. Well she had no one to blame but herself did she? Joan quickly ran through her plans for tonight; if they didn’t work she would hard pushed to find another opportunity as good as this.   
“….sixty-seven, sixty-eight, sixty-nine.” Joan stopped counting; Spiteri’s thumb and forefinger were finally touching. "Well done, Jodie. Now you know you are in a deep state of relaxation. As I count further you will go into a deeper state of relaxation. As you do so, your left hand gradually, and without effort on your part, will move from your lap and come to rest on the mattress beside you."   
Jodie's limp hand had fallen to her side by the count of thirty. In her low voice Joan said "now you know you are in a deeper state of relaxation; without further counting you will continue to relax more and more, and as you do so, your hand will rise without effort, and touch your face. However, your hand will not and must not touch your face until you are in the deepest state of relaxation. Only then will the touching of your face be a signal that you are in a profound state of relaxation."

Joan was beginning to think that Spiteri would never reach the required state. It had to happen soon, she’d been progressing well. The sleep suggestions had taken hold but their influence was too tenuous to support the enterprise she planned to persuade Jodie into. She stood and stretched her tired muscles – she’d really pushed herself in practice this morning but it had been worth it. Slipping the last button of her tunic through its fastening she perched on the edge of Spiteri’s mattress waiting patiently until at last, fingers touched cheek!  
"What is your name?"   
“Jodie Spiteri”  
“How old are you, Jodie?”  
“Twenty-three.”  
“Do you remember where you are?”  
“Wentworth.”  
“And you know who I am, yes?”  
“Yes, you’re Miss Ferguson.”  
“That’s right, Jodie. Well done. Are you feeling relaxed, Jodie?”  
“Yes, thank you.”  
“You can lower your hand now. I know that it’s taken some considerable time for you to reach this point but next time you will be able to become this relaxed by the count of twenty. Do you understand? I will tell you to relax and begin counting. When you achieve this depth of relaxation again your hand will rise automatically and touch your face; OK?”  
“OK.”

“Now, Jodie. I want to discuss your situation; will you do that with me?” She smiled encouragingly at Spiteri.  
“Yes, OK.”  
“Do you think that you should be in the psych ward, Jodie?”  
“No.”  
“Where should you like to be? Back in H-block with your so-called friends or somewhere safe where they can’t harm you? Where they can’t judge you?”  
“Safe. Somewhere safe.”  
“Somewhere nice? With me?”  
“Yeah, somewhere nice….” Jodie desperately wanted to wipe all of this from her mind; she just wanted to be happy.  
“But, Jodie! Nowhere nice will take you in if you aren’t beautiful. The stain of your guilt has made you so ugly, no one wants to look at you! They refuse to see your hideous features, they choose to see nothing rather than your vileness.” The sorrow in Joan’s voice was palpable.  
“But I’m not guilty.” She said thickly. “Bea knows that I couldn’t help it; we’re good now.”  
“Is that what you’re feeling now, Jodie? Good?”  
Jodie took a long moment to reply. “No” she whispered.   
“And why is that, hmmm? Is it because you betrayed me?”  
Jodie made a low moaning sound  
“It is, isn’t it?”  
“I told the truth!” The girl wailed.  
“No, you embellished something that you wanted so that you wouldn’t look bad. Until you find the courage to see clearly you will remain an ugly liar, unable to wash away the guilt. You know that I’m right don’t you? Let me help.”  
“How?”  
“You need to remove the part of you that blocks the truth. Sometimes our own bodies turn against us, poison us, disfigure us; like a cancer. I can help you heal yourself. Let me give you the courage to cut out the rot, Jodie. Will you?” Joan’s eyes glittered as she compelled Spiteri’s anguished stare.  
“Help me, please. I don’t want to stay here.”

This is what she’d been waiting for! Joan felt a surge of power buoy her confidence. Now the way forward was open to her. She would remind Spiteri of this moment every time she baulked at a well-placed suggestion. Joan smiled blackly to herself; in later life Spiteri would rue this very moment – and she would have good reason to she thought. No one betrayed Joan Ferguson to such a magnitude and survived unscathed. Now was the time to step up her plan and plant the final suggestion, and with it Jodie’s destruction, into the girl’s mind.

“Stop denying that you want my attention, Jodie; stop refusing to see the truth.” She stroked Jodie’s right eyelid. “This eye… You know, this eye – it lies. It prevents you from seeing the truth of the matter; that I gave you what you wanted and that you thanked me in the manner of my choosing. This eye shows you a world where you will never be comfortable but you are helpless to stop it overpowering the truth that shines in through the left. The truth, Jodie; truth is beauty but it’s nothing in the face of overpowering and willful ignorance. Let me help you dispose of your guilt. There is no shame in accepting your nature – you just need to find the courage to act.”  
“My eye…?”  
“I can see the deceit in it, Jodie. It’s poisoning you, can’t you feel it? Doesn’t it hurt? I can tell you how to stop it but I can’t do it for you – you must do it yourself so that the beauty I see can be revealed to all the world. Be my good girl again, do what has to be done before it blinds you to your potential.  
“You were lost in the world before I found you. I gave you purpose to your existence. You were nothing. Your parents and so-called friends made you weak but I made you strong. I gave you the means for respect – self-respect. Prove to me that you are worthy of my respect. Find the courage to see clearly, to erase the ugliness that blights you. Remember the relief you felt after stabbing Smith? You can find that peace again, you can have that peace forever more if you want it badly enough.”  
Jodie held her breath as the pad of Ferguson’s thumb pushed into the soft mass of her eye.  
“Take charge of your life Jodie. Destroy your traitorous eye and cleanse your soul.”   
“I don’t know if I can. I’m afraid”  
You can’t afford not to, Jodie. The longer you leave it, the worse it will get. You’ll become so ugly that no one will want to look at you or listen to your lies; can you imagine the pain if everyone averts their eyes from your disfigurement? Search yourself and you will find that courage, when it is all over you will wonder what kept you from doing it sooner.” 

"OK, I think we are done for the night. As I count from one to five, you will gradually awaken and at five you will be wide awake."

“Miss Ferguson! Did I fall asleep?”  
“Indeed you did, Jodie. See? I meant it when I said I wanted to help you.” She smiled and then made a show of noticing something. “Is your eye alright, Jodie? It looks a little cloudy to me. Shall I tell the Sister?”  
Predictably Spiteri’s fingers flew to her right eye, patting the lids gently, trying to feel for defect. “No, no it’s fine. I’m fine.”  
“Well you should keep a watch on it, we don’t want anything to affect your sight now do we, hmmm?”

Auto-enucleation. The thought of convincing Spiteri to harm herself so severely pleased Joan immensely. It should keep Westfall quiet for a bit she thought – only the most deranged lunatics tried to pluck out their own eyes – and all doubt over the alleged abuse of Spiteri in the Slot would be washed away forever. A serene smile graced her handsome features as she swaggered back to her lair.


	5. Tuesday 14th 23:30hrs

“…. eighteen, nineteen, twenty.”   
Jodie's hand hovered next to her sallow cheek as her fingertips curled to touch the soft skin.  
“Are you feeling calm, Jodie. Are you ready for tomorrow?”  
“Tomorrow?”  
“I’m going to give you the chance to remove the obstacle to the truth. Do you have the courage to stop the malicious falsehoods your eye tries to fill your brain with? Are you ready to destroy the diseased part of you before it destroys all of you?” Joan stood over Jodie and stroked her greasy hair, repressing a shudder of revulsion. “What is it the bible says? “And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.” Taken from the book of Matthew I believe. And the bible is all about sin and forgiveness isn’t it?”  
“I’m not sure I can, Miss Ferguson. You’re positive this is the only way?”  
“The only way, Jodie. Why else would I suggest something so drastic, hmmm? I don’t enjoy seeing you in pain, you believe me don’t you? It breaks my heart to think that you are a filthy, soulless liar; lies pollute all that they touch and they corrupt the perpetrator. You don’t expect me to continue to waste my time on a spineless liar do you? Find the courage or I’ll be forced to send you for shock treatment.”  
“Noooo. Please…I’m so confused!”  
“Then let me show you the way through your confusion. You asked me to help and I am. Do as I say, when I say, and you will be troubled no more by doubt and fear. You will be free.”   
“I, I don’t know….”  
“Yes,” she soothed, “yes, I know. You're thinking to yourself “will there be pain?” aren’t you? Well the simple answer is yes; I won’t deny it. But it won’t exceed your threshold, I promise.” Joan sat down next to Jodie and held her hand. “You're wondering “How much can I take? Why do I have to suffer?” You’ll take as much pain as is necessary, Jodie. Otherwise all of my efforts will have been in vain and you’ll be lost forever. Don’t you see? And you know why you must suffer like this, it’s because you are nothing, a worthless wretch. Step up and become something, Jodie! It will only last a moment, do it and free yourself. That’s what you want isn’t it?”  
Spiteri gave a slow nod.   
“On the count of five you will awaken.”  
“Yes, Miss Ferguson.”

“You’re my good girl aren’t you?” Joan held the vibrator against the shrouded peak of Jodie's nipple, pressing too hard and for too long for it to be enjoyable. Her left hand roamed over Jodie's responsive body as she sat cradled between Joan’s thighs on the floor. She whispered seductively into Spiteri’s ear. “Imagine how good it would feel if my hands could touch all of your body at once, do you think that you could survive such a thing?”  
“Oh, Miss Ferguson….” Jodie's thighs clenched at the wickedly sexy thought.  
“You want to touch yourself, don’t you? I know that you’re wet, I can smell you; and you must be so hard by now, hmmm?” She switched the vibrator to the other breast.  
“Yes” groaned Jodie.  
“Go on then, Jodie.” Joan’s nipples were like bullets inside her shirt. She thrilled in the perversity of the situation. She had created a being that thought she wanted, no needed this. She couldn’t help wondering what Spiteri’s life would be like in the years to come; how long it would take her to suffer a total break when the world Joan had promised her didn’t materialise.   
Spiteri’s hand found its way between her legs and began to move tentatively, she looked up into Joan’s face and instinctively pulled the thin cotton up around her waist so that the Governor could watch. Her other hand pulled Joan’s up to her face and she wrapped the leather clad fingers around her cheeks, dark eyes imploring Joan to squeeze. Joan obliged with a satisfied smile.

Jodie’s hand moved faster between her legs, harder in her need to chase down the orgasm that teased her heightened senses. She gripped Joan’s hand and pushed it up against her nostrils ‘til she could barely breathe, pressing Joan’s palm hard against her squashed lips. Her cunt flared, clit hardening even further under her slippery fingers as she writhed into the Governor’s solid body. God it felt so good!

Setting the vibrator aside Joan loosened the baton from her hip and drew the butt across Spiteri’s cracked lips. They opened to accommodate the shaft and her tongue laved the solid rod till it was shiny with spit. Joan removed the instrument and held it up in front of them both whilst she waited for Spiteri to acknowledge her desire.  
“Use it on me, Miss Ferguson; please….?” the pale girl gasped.  
“Why don’t you use it on yourself, hmmm?” Joan handed the truncheon to the prisoner.   
Jodie stared up into Joan’s eyes and pressed the blunt, moist tip into her greedy wetness, working it into her hungry hole as Joan crooned encouragement.   
She fucked herself slowly at first but the insistent throb in her cunt soon demanded more. Jodie felt the Governor wrap her long limbs around her as the violent lust grew inside. She had never felt safer, cradled in the arms of her protector, the woman who had forgiven her transgressions because she understood…..   
Closing her thighs around the cool length she ground her clit into the moulded hand grip, bucking and moaning as she grew hotter and hotter.

Joan lifted Spiteri from between her thighs and positioned her on her lap, rotating the sweating slut so that she could command her gaze whilst still being able to observe the baton’s progress out of the corner of her eye. She gave Spiteri the vibrator and took over fucking her with the night stick, her left arm moving fluidly as she pumped the hard shaft in and out with an obscene slurping noise. Joan looked down at the source of the noise with a detached fascination; creamy secretions coated the black stick making it gleam dully in the dim light. Under different circumstances, with a different partner, she would find the sound deeply arousing but it was a prisoner and, although she was just as satisfied at the result of her actions, there was no thrill plucking at her pleasure centre.   
Her lips tickled Spiteri’s ear. “Have you ever been fucked this intensely, Jodie? Has anybody ever cared about you like I do? I want you to know that I’ll be with you forever; you know, this kind of connection can never be broken, no matter what anybody may say. You can feel it can’t you?” Joan pulled her head back to watch the effect her words had on her subject.  
“Oh goddddd!” rasped Jodie. Each thrust sent a bright pulse of euphoria coruscating through her body making her tingle with a lightness that transcended all the misery that surrounded her. She would do whatever Ferguson asked of her, agree to everything she said just as long as she was away from the burning pain of her guilt.  
“Do you want to come, Jodie? Is it time?” Fun as this was, she wanted to clock off and get a few hours’ sleep before her next visit.   
“Mmmm…ohhh!” Jodie's cries rose in pitch as she swept the vibrator’s tip over her clit, reaching down to collect her juices and smearing them over her dry hood, crying out again in pleasure as the buzzing plastic skated around the bulging nub and the bliss began to centre on the bundle of nerves and tissue between her quivering thighs.  
Joan shifted her arm behind Spiteri’s back, raising her elbow so that she could clamp her hand over the small face and smother the helpless sounds that issued from her broken toy. She had to be careful not to allow the evocative noises to excite her own senses and reminded herself that this was work, not pleasure.  
“Come for me now, Jodie. Let go.” She pulled the pitiful creature into her uniformed chest as the first penetrating spasms wracked the sweating girl.  
Jodie was pushed and pulled into the swirl of dark passion as Ferguson’s arm slowed and the baton was delicately applied to every inch of her inner walls. She released the vibrator and pressed her fingertips against her swollen clit, sliding the hood over the slippery peak as she wrung every last ounce of ecstasy from the moment.

They sat in silence, both of them finding words a superfluous addition to this perfect moment but for wholly different reasons.   
Joan had budgeted for ten minutes of cuddling but found to her relief that Spiteri sank into an exhausted, drug induced sleep long before that. She gathered the slight woman in her arms and laid her on the narrow bed. She brushed lank hair from the smooth forehead. “Not long now, Jodie; stay strong.” At least she would have a good night’s sleep before everything changed forever she thought.   
Joan rinsed off the soiled vibrator and baton under the tap; ideally the night stick could have done with three minutes in the autoclave but a quick blast in the staff-room dishwasher would have to suffice before she returned it to the armoury; the vibrator though, was destined for the incinerator now that it had served its purpose.


	6. Wednesday 15th 05:45hrs

“Sister tells me that you are to be discharged tomorrow. It'd be good to get back into general and have a shower wouldn't it? That’ll be good won’t it? You’ll be able to have a nice hot shower whenever you want, clean yourself up a little. You desperately need it, Jodie” She gave Spiteri what she believed to be a motherly look. “Miss Westfall thinks that it will do you good to be back with your friends, your peers; but she doesn’t know about that crippling guilt that you carry in your soul does she?”   
“I’m scared….”  
“Scared? Of the truth? I don’t know how you look in the mirror. You’re so ugly. How do you look at yourself? Liar.” Joan tenderly ran her thumb along the darkened ridge of Spiteri’s right eye socket. “Liar.” Joan made the words of hate sound like names of love. “Liar.”  
“I don’t think I can! Please don’t make me!”  
“I’m not making you do anything, Jodie. You asked me to help you get out of here and I’ve shown you a path. It’s all on you now. Choose the right thing. End the lies, the guilt. Find the courage to save yourself. For me. For you.”

Jodie stared mutely at Ferguson. Her mouth turned down as she fought back tears of shame; shame that she couldn’t stop thinking about how this intimidating woman had held her so tenderly, shame that she had allowed Ferguson to treat her so badly without doing anything to stop it – because she hadn’t wanted it to stop. And shame because she had told the others how it had all been Miss Ferguson’s doing when she knew that it wasn’t, because she needed to fit in….because she was scared to face her true nature.

“Jodie,” Joan traced the dark arc of the girl’s eyebrow “I know it’s scary but you can do it. You know you can. Be my good girl again. You’re no coward, you have proved that twice over. You’ve acknowledged that the truth is there, now you must embrace it with the fearlessness it demands. All it takes is a moment of courage. Do you have that courage?”  
As Joan stood she slipped a red pencil, a 4H, between the chewing gum grey gown and Jodie’s slim thigh. “Use this to dig out that treacherous eyeball. I have faith in you, Jodie. Don’t let me down.” She gave a small smile of encouragement and left Spiteri to contemplate her immediate future.

Jodie fingered the long, angled edges of the pencil through the material. She could do it, she did have the courage. She could prove herself to Miss Ferguson, Joan, her saviour in all of this mess. The burning pain in her chest lessened as she thought about disposing of her darkness.  
“I have the courage! I have the courage! I do! I have the courage!”  
The floor was chilly down in the corner behind the bed. It didn’t matter, as long as they couldn’t see her and rush in to overpower her before she’d reached her journey’s end.   
The sharp point appeared so suddenly she didn’t have time to blink before it gouged deep into the cornea and veered across the bloodshot sclera. She found that she didn’t even have the urge to blink and stared wide eyed as she raked the wicked instrument across the surface, digging it deep into the surrounding tissues and muscles as she tried to lever the offending orb from its socket “See?” she cried to the sterile room, “I have the courage! I have the courage!


End file.
